The Art of Silent Response

Smile and Silence are two powerful tools to live a joyful life. Smiling can help us solve many problems, and silence can help us avoid many problems.

A genuine smile represents a state of inner peace and positivity that helps us respond to even difficult situations in life with progressive alternatives to create stepping stones to a joyful life.   

It is not necessary to react to every situation in life, silence can be a good alternative. And there are circumstances in life when silence is not only a good alternative for a joyful life but a necessary, most effective, and potent response. Since many of us do not know the art of not responding and staying silent, let us reflect on situations when silence can be a wiser option. 

First, in a mental state when your power of thinking is clouded by anger, exhaustion, biasing, or any other reason, anything you say can add to the bitterness in life. In such a situation silence may be a better option to live a joyful life. 

Second, when your views are not relevant, persuasive, or impactful because you are not an expert or you are not well prepared; in such cases before speaking you have to think if your input will be valuable or not. You may find that silence is the best option. 

Third, when you are unsure what you want to say is true and you have no evidence to prove it, you may be challenged and that may stress you out. In such situations, staying silent may be a good option. 

Fourth, is what you want to say pleasant and helpful that will create value for someone? If not, you will only feed negativity. In such situations, silence may be a better option. 

Finally, when someone is requesting you to remain silent but your ego is coercing you to say something, in such situations for your inner peace and joyful life - silence may be a better option. 

Let us reflect on these five ideas and utilize our power of speech only when we can inspire creativity, value creation, and joy in the world. Otherwise, we should learn to make silence our happiness shield to preserve inner peace and bliss to live a joyful life. 

Defining Happiness

Let us reflect on a couple of questions to start the conversation on an introspective note today. My first question is - Are you happy today? Give it a thought. My second question is - Why? If you are feeling happy - Why, and if you are feeling unhappy - Why? Have you given it a thought? Most of us want to be happy, but many of us have never introspected the definition and causes of happiness in our life. Let us dedicate today's JoyMantra to start demystifying happiness. Because, until we have clarity on what happiness means to us and our happiness influencers, our happiness will be at the mercy of fate. 

Happiness is such a profound and subjective experience that it is not possible to contain it in a single definition. I am sharing not THE point of view but A point of view based on my experiences and research. I will be keen to hear your thoughts on what happiness means to you. My only request is to share your personal understanding as original thoughts, not a forwarded social media post or lines picked as it is from a book. 

In my experience, Happiness is an inner feeling of elation that liberates me from the bondage of time, space, situation, and desires. The fountain of inner joy pauses time and makes me feel complete, with nothing more to be desired. The experience is that of extended FLOW. Happiness for me is an inner compass that keeps me on the path of morality and goodness. Whenever I violate any of my core values the inner compass of happiness triggers a discomforting feeling immediately to inspire a course correction. 

Let us now also introspect on the causes of happiness in life. 

To begin with, the fulfillment of small desires itself gives a feeling of pleasure and we consider that as happiness until we realize that the feeling of elation caused by the fulfillment of a short-term desire is temporary. I call this as "pursuit of pleasure" phase of life. With experience, we realize that achieving personal, social, and professional goals gives us a bit of sustained feeling of elation and timelessness as we have better engagement with whatever we are doing. But after achieving one goal, we start pursuing another higher goal and this cycle limits our experience of elation. I call this as "pursuit of happiness" phase. 

In my experience, when we are engaged in a cause beyond our selfish interests, when the end goal, as well as means to achieve the end goal, are ethical, and the actions are not pleasure or materialistic gain driven but inspired by a higher purpose; we no longer work for joy, we work in joy. We move from the 'pursuit of happiness' to 'happiness in pursuit'. We are enjoying whatever we are doing with the intent of doing our best. This is when we are able to utilize our full creative potential. We are happy and we are at our best. The cycle of peaks and valleys may appear in our lives, but with a happy mindset, we have a better chance of bouncing back much faster. We realize that the way to happiness is - happiness on the way. 

Let us do what we love, and love what we do. 

These are my thoughts. Please do share your understanding of What Happiness Is... 

The Art of Winning Hearts

There is a popular saying, "Some people brighten the room when they enter, and some by exiting the room." I am sure after listening to me, some names have popped up in your mind and you started visualizing some faces mapping to both categories. 

But today I invite you to reflect on when people are thinking about you, which list are they assigning you to? Are you perceived as the source of positive energy and vibrancy or the energy drain? 

I think it all depends on if we are able to touch human hearts and create an experience of enhanced positive energy during our interaction with people. I feel most of us have an invisible message written on our hearts in bold letters - "Delight Me" or "Make Me Feel Special". And hidden in this invisible thought is the secret of winning human hearts as well as enhancing the joy quotient of a room with your presence. 

Let us analyze one sutra that is often stated about improving the quality of interaction with others - "Treat others how you would like to be treated". I think there is a need to upgrade this sutra to enhance its effect in the modern world - "Treat others not how you would like to get treated but how they would like to get treated". I am not promoting flattery, I am suggesting the inculcation of sincere appreciation as a virtue while interacting with others. This will happen more spontaneously if we become less judgemental and more curious to know about others. 

If I have made you curious to nurture "The Art of Winning Hearts" then ask yourself one simple question, "How can I make anyone interacting with me or in my presence feel like a million bucks?"

Let me know what do you think?